Author Archive

Spag that bitch

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

Recently, at St. Matthews Epsicopal Church in Charleston, West Virginia, Bishop Klusmeyer and Father Thomas held the annual pet blessing, which, ahem, begs the question, Do all dogs go to heaven?

According to the article, ”Klusmeyer and Thomas said the day’s events reminded parishioners about reaching out to the smallest and the poorest of the poor, and also the gentleness and simplicity of all of God’s creatures …

“For example, Thomas, known as Father Bill, might say this prayer: ‘Almighty God, Creator of all things, and giver of all life, let your blessing be upon Molly and grant that Molly may serve you to your glory and the welfare of your people, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.’”

At ClarifyingChristianity.com, the writer seems to think it is possible for pets to go to heaven, but that it is just as unlikely that pets will go to heaven since so few humans will gain entrance. It is an odd defeatist mentality for a Christian. The writer offers no ways to measure how god will decide if a pet can gain entrance to heaven. Over at Pet-Loss.net, the writer states that animals don’t need to be “saved” because they have not “fallen”. Then why would pets need to be blessed if they are already and always will be within the good graces of god? Because of this default position, the writer is not offering us any help with our basic question. Finally, at Answers2Prayer.org, the writer states that animals do not have immortal souls, so no redemption is required because there is nothing to redeem. It seems that animals will occupy some kind of Spielberg-esque animal-like semi-intelligent life form that can be turned on or off on a whim — though heaven is supposed to be whim-free (sigh).

The article in the Gazette fails to mention how Molly (a pet) might serve the glory of the Christian god. Is Molly required to go to church every Sunday in observation of Jesus Christ? Minimally, Molly will need to adhere to the Ten Commandments (whichever ten you choose, makes no difference to me). Since Molly cannot speak a language discernable to humans, I think Molly is safe with the universal first commandment which prohibits any other gods. If she had any other gods, we would never know it. We’re not even sure if she has Jesus in her heart much less Lucifer in her mind, but she wags her tail when her owner returns home and she barks for treats, so Molly gets a bye on this one.

What about taking the lord’s name in vain? Again, since Molly cannot engage in conversation with humans, she gets a bye on this commandment. What about the prohibition on images? I am not aware of dogs possessing cameras, nor am I aware of their understanding of how cameras work. Additionally, I am not aware of dogs that sketch, paint, sculpt or make mounds of dirt for any other purpose than digging for prey. So, we have yet another commandment for which Molly earns a bye. What about bearing false witness? Another bye – can’t converse, can’t violate. Even if she saw and heard evil, she certainly can’t speak of it. By default, she cannot bear false witness.

How about keeping the sabbath holy? I don’t think Molly works on the sabbath, but I am not sure because I don’t know if she has chores. If she does have chores, her human owner would also be in violation of the commandment. So, maybe we can just call this one a default failure since her owner is likely to cause Molly to engage in activities that result in the sabbath not being quite as holy as intended.

Does Molly honor her mother and father? I am not sure, mostly because I am not sure what honoring your father or mother means. Is it asking for permission? Sending a birthday card? Addressing the parents with common titles of respect: ”Mother” and “Father”? Molly cannot ask for permission, at least not verbally. Except as a default circumstance of the next commandment, we simply can never know if Molly ever violates this commandment. Do not murder … well, I am sure that Molly wishes to eat and has murdered something in some way. If it is in reference to not murdering those of her own kind, I shall have to assume that she hasn’t violated this commandment because she is not a feral street dog. However, since some commercially manufactured dog food contains horse meat, and since horses are pets that are also likely to be blessed, it is my opinion that Molly has repeatedly sinned. This commandment may make the violator a victim of circumstance rather than willful action. If cows and pigs can also be pets that are blessed, then Molly is a big loser on this point.

Do not steal … another dilemma. If Molly snatches away a toy or bone from another dog, or if she absconds with her owner’s shoes for her own chewing pleasure, is that stealing? What if the item is later returned? It should at least qualify as adulteration of a material possession, although that is not a violation of a commandment. This one is a toss-up. Molly gets a default bye.

Next, we have coveting thy neighbor’s wife and adultery. No reason to handle these issues separately, for in doggie-land, they are one in the same. Now, for Molly, being female, coveting her neighbor’s wife presents additional moral dilemmas, but I will leave aside thoughts of a homosexual pet for this exercise. This is where Molly really has a doggie dilemma. Molly is a bitch. Unless her human owner is extremely protective of her, the owner is going to breed the bitch (either intentionally or by lack of action). The bitch enters heat. The bitch is going to be in deep trouble. I doubt Molly has engaged in any marital rituals with her companion dogs, so I am sure that Molly, as a representative example of all bitches, has repeatedly violated this commandment. Molly is, sadly, indiscriminate in her behaviors. She has sinned. If Molly’s owner has neutered her, then there are a host of other religious morals to review. Molly can’t get a bye on this – she can’t even win. Molly loses this one by default. So does her owner, by the way, but for a cornucopia of other reasons.

So, as Molly arrives at the pearly gates, it becomes crunch time for the Christian god. Has Molly sufficiently served the lord? Does she get to enter heaven? I think the answer from nearly all corners of pet-owner-land is a resounding YES!

Of course, we have a rather nuanced problem here. I think Molly’s owner, as a representative of all pet owners, is spagging her. So is Father Bill. In fact, everyone is spagging Molly. She is a bitch, after all. She’s accustomed to frequent spagging. Just look at how she is treated: free home, free toys, free food, free maid service, and a wet massage nearly every week. Hell, she even gets a free education, psych therapy and her own stays in a pet hotel. Jesus! All Molly has to do is rollover and allow herself to be spagged. Repeatedly.

So, if an easy bitch can get into heaven, what are you worried about?

The Saving Properties of Jesus Christ

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

A man who espoused his faith in Jesus Christ, was saved by Jesus sometime on Thursday evening along with the rest of his family.

Charles Dalton was an evangelical Christian man. He worked at his church, spoke of the saving power of Jesus Christ and was helping to build a summer Bible camp. Sometime during the early hours of Friday, September 25, Jesus came to save Charles, his wife and two kids. Jesus saved them from the demons that secretly plagued the family. They no longer have any demons and can rejoice in the presence of the Lord.

Never doubt the power of Jesus Christ.1

  1. Also, never doubt the ability of a .12 gauge shotgun to deliver the saving, healing power of Jesus Christ. [<]

Is America racist?

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

In the debate on health care, and among other issues, Americans visiting town hall meetings made many vague, potentially inane, comments in response to discussing issues in these public forms. Are these comments racist?

“I want my America back,” that singular phrase repeatedly quoted by so many, but expressed by so few, has become a rallying cry for those who want … well, we’re not sure exactly what they want. Whatever it is that they want, apparently they don’t have it now. The big question is, “What changed and when?” About the only thing that has changed this year is that we have a black man in the Oval Office. Certainly, Congress has passed legislation to, hopefully, secure the foundations of many financial institutions, as well as provide an economic stimulus package to avoid an economic depression. But, where did these people lose their America, or how did they lose what they thought was their America?

Racism exists in America; it actually exists everywhere. Racism is a mental state. When one is racist, one thinks that a particular race of people are superior to another race of people. Historically in America, racism involves “white” people believing that “black” people are permanently inferior to the superior abilities of “whites”. Through some painful events in our history, a majority of “white” Americans no longer believe themselves to be superior to “blacks”, but what was once rampant racism among whites has devolved into varying levels of prejudice towards blacks.

Did the woman he famously cried, “I want my America back”, do so because she is racist? Prejudiced? Did she cry out because she didn’t like Congress passing legislation in which the government spent money it hadn’t collected? Did she think that atheist heathens have taken over her country? Let’s examine the facts. Using the most advantageous of polling statistics, at most, 15% of Americans publicly identify as atheist, which is an increase of 5% over prior prior polls. That just doesn’t qualify as a takeover of American society. President Obama has repeatedly referenced his Christian faith, and Vice President Biden is a life-long Catholic. So, no atheists there. If we look at the spending habits of Congress, we can see that the budget surplusses of the late 1990s were turned into increasingly ugly budget deficits from the year 2001 to the present, so Congressional spending certainly hasn’t changed recently. So, what’s left? The mocha coloration of Obama’s skin. When she cried out about wanting her America back, what else is there? I have to conclude that she wants a “white” President in the Oval Office. It’s likely that she was Republican, so maybe she was upset about the chairman of the Republican National Committee — Michael Steele — a black man. Ooops! They just keep sneaking in the door, don’t they? If McCain had won, the woman probably would have gone to her weekly bingo game that night instead of a town hall meeting.

While I can never be sure of the woman’s intentions in crying out for her lost America, one thing we know is that racism is here. Racism will never go away. Racism will likely continue to diminish over time, but it’s here and we need to deal with it. One of the wonderful factors of diminishing racism is that we have a mocha-colored president, so 53.7% of American voters decided that they weren’t racist and cast their vote for a black man. Even the Republicans chose their sole black member as the head of the RNC, though that has proven to be a publicity stunt in reaction to the first black prez.

Recently, former President Jimmy Carter threw in his two cents to state that he believed that many of these incidents are evidence of racism. He’s probably right, but since Obama won the election and he is still popular, Carter’s comments only serve to acknowledge what Obama cannot. It’s certainly an acknowledgement the views of a limited number of Americans that still dwell on life in 1964.

The recent town hall meetings, the 9/12 demonstration, and the vague expressions knowledge thinly masking the insincerity of the talking heads, are all examples of fires fed by one fuel: racism. Even if some among them aren’t racist, a black man in the Oval Office is a convenient tool to leverage your political views, activate your political base or to just pad your wallet with other peoples’ money. Obama may save the economy just by existing. Those who want their America back might just get it.

Complaints on The Public Health Care Option

Monday, July 20th, 2009

There has been much talk about the “public health care” option or the “public health care insurance” competition. But, what is public health care? Is it horrible? Is it something to fear?

Health care that is public is care that is provided to you by the government. Public health care has been around for a very long time, and the most prominent form of public health care is the Medicare program, which is a federal benefit program to pay for health care expenses for those who are Age 65+.  Another form of public health care is Medicaid, which is a state-sponsored program that receives partial federal funding. Anyone below Age 65 can receive benefits from Medicaid if their assets and/or income are low enough to qualify (and they aren’t covered by any other form of health insurance). Another form of public health care is your local health department, which not only monitors health standards for any establishment that prepares food for consumers, but also for schools, other social programs and the general public. When I was a kid, I remember the local health department being responsible for all inoculations, education for sexually transmitted diseases, helping indigent families and pregnant mothers, and more. So, public health care is nothing new. It has been around for a long, long time. Depending on your viewpoint, the pinnacle of public health care is the Centers for Disease Control (CDC).

In a July 16, 2009 article at Reason.com,1 Steve Chapman analogizes why more competition in health insurance is not needed. We already have enough competition. I agree with his assertion. There is an abundance of proof that the level of competition is quite high and there is no further way for the government to foster more competition. In fact, the only way the government can affect private health insurance is to pass a law. What will laws do? Laws generally provide restrictions for behavior, so a law regarding private health insurance will restrict competition. It’s inevitable.

Mr Chapman raises certain points that are contradictory. He states that a public health care plan will not save as many administrative costs over private health insurance, as many imagine it will. This is true. One must recognize, as Mr Chapman does, that even though a private health care plan will not have marketing expenses like private health insurance, it will have other expenditures, either from its own internal administration, extra payments for treatments, fraud prevention and investigation, etc. However, the main problem with our health care system is that it doesn’t cover everyone. Worse, the people who are covered are covered in a myriad of ways. A single plan with the same set of benefits for everyone greatly simplifies expenses. Not only will there be an absence of marketing expenses, but an absence of lost time and money by the medical provider determining why one individual’s plan will or will not pay for something, or in the health plans explanation of what the plan did or did not pay for. There are hundreds of thousands of man-hours lost to figuring out what private health care plans will or won’t pay for and seeking reimbursement from them.

Mr Chapman also mentions the dominance of Microsoft did not prevent Google from providing competition, which is true. However, Microsoft was sued by the United States and the European Union for anti-trust and/or monopolistic behavior. The contradiction here is that you can’t compare Microsoft to “a few health insurance providers” because Microsoft is one company and “a few” is more than a couple, which indicates existing competition. On the contrary, does Mr Chapman prove that a monopolistic entity can still have a competitor? He says that Medicare doesn’t have to advertise but a public option plan would. Really? Did Microsoft heavily advertise Windows? Nope, not until Apple became a direct competitor and not in earnest until Microsoft thought that Linux (or variants) were going to take over the desktop. Microsoft still attracted millions without any advertising at all. Microsoft DOS (and later Windows) was something you got every time you bought a new computer. Hmmm. Interesting. Maybe health care is something you get (via taxes) every time you buy something or every time you get a paycheck.

In another vein, Mr Chapman raises the school-voucher argument by stating that President Obama doesn’t want to foster competition because the government doesn’t offer participants in Medicare, Medicaid or SCHIP a voucher to select private health insurance. His point is made from one of ignorance, unfortunately. No insurance company wants to insure the aged (Medicare participants) because they are a sure-fire money pit. Expenditures for those Age 65+ will far exceed any premiums you can charge them. Unless all insurance companies collectively agreed to insure the aged, the first company out of the gate will sink under the weight of the aged who seek to be insured. Secondly, participants in Medicaid don’t have any money, which is why they qualify for Medicaid in the first place. The government cannot provide a sufficient voucher to Medicaid participants to obtain private health insurance. Medicaid, by nature, is a program that doesn’t consistently insure the same group of people. Sometimes Medicaid simply helps someone overwhelmed by current medical bills; other times it insures the indigent who don’t even have a fixed address. If we think health care providers don’t care to deal with Medicare payments, why do we think a private insurer would want to deal with government payment of premiums? What’s the difference? None. The conservative and/or libertarian plans for voucher-like tickets to health care include increased tax deductions for paying private health insurance premiums. The assumption is that you can afford the rest of the premium not paid by the tax deduction, and that you can meet the medical eligibility requirements for obtaining the insurance. The voucher system is dead on arrival.

Another complaint of the public option that Mr Chapman doesn’t address but to which his arguments apply is the cost of care and who controls those costs.

“But a public program of the sort Democrats propose doesn’t have to control costs, because in a pinch it can count on the government to keep it in business. Competition is healthy, but how are private companies supposed to compete with an operation that can tap the Treasury?”

A public program does have to control costs, just like private plans must also control costs. It doesn’t matter whether you are covered by a public or a private plan — either one must control costs. There would be no competition if private plans didn’t control costs. The question of cost control is not whether it will happen, but how. Mr Chapman says that the public plan has the US Treasury at its disposal so that it doesn’t have to control costs. This is both a reality and a false argument in the same breath. The reality is that private health plans don’t have to control costs because private health insurance gets massive tax deductions that aren’t available to other forms of private insurance, so the US Treasury is already bankrolling billions, if not trillions, in the form of lost revenue on health care that has already been delivered. Lost income is lost income, period. Additionally, the public option should be a totally separate function that is merely sponsored by government so that the revenue and expenditures of the public plan are wholly within control of the boards managing the plans. As long as the plans are entirely responsible unto themselves, there will be internal cost controls applied.

It is unfortunate that Mr Chapman compares a public health care option to a Nigerian bank scam. The problem with the analogy is that the scammer isn’t waiting for our reply. He’s already scammed us for a few too many generations. If the major countries of the world can find a way to publicly provide health care, why shouldn’t we? The citizens of Canada, France, Great Britian, Germany, et al, do not feel scammed.

  1. S Chapman. The ‘Public Option’ Health Care Scam, Reason.com, July 16, 2009. [<]

Is Stephen Harper an atheist?

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

According to this article, Stephen Harper refused to swallow his wafer. Why?

Could this be a sign that another political leader simply fakes his religion? He failed to accept the flesh of Jesus Christ, which is an unforgivable sin (if it isn’t, it should be). The world, or perhaps just Canada, awaits an answer.

Maybe he just wasn’t hungry and thought he would eat Jesus later?